Why a woman does not want a child. Why don't you want a baby? Not all women want children

Despite the fact that the happiness of motherhood is considered undeniable, it is still a very serious test. Pregnancy, difficult childbirth, and then the first years of the baby, when a woman literally cannot move away from him - such a prospect is so frightening for some that they decide not to have children at all. Such women call themselves childfree.

The reasons are different: a serious deterioration in well-being, the loss of a good figure, the possibility that the husband will fall out of love, and others. And someone is afraid of the severe pain associated with childbirth.

Negative Examples

Some women may be ready to endure pregnancy and childbirth, but they are terrified of what comes after that. Motherhood is not only an honorable duty, it is also hard work. Some do not really like children at all: noisy, capricious, they constantly require attention and care. In addition, you need to love your child, but what if it doesn’t work out? Some women look at someone else's example and doubt that they will succeed in being good mothers.

Wrong time

It happens that a woman wants to have a baby, but right now, as she believes, is not the right time. A difficult stage in a career, an apartment in a mortgage, not the best situation with a husband or completion of education - there can be many reasons.

It also happens that a woman does not seem to have any problems. It seems that she can endure childbirth, and has nothing against pregnancy, and strangers' children do not irritate her. And there seem to be no external difficulties that can be considered a worthy reason for a delay. But now I don't want to, that's all.

What to do if a woman does not want to have children

You should never put pressure on a woman, force her to have a child, and even more so, you should not blackmail and threaten if she does not want to have offspring yet. A woman is the mistress of her body, and it is up to her to decide whether to devote her life and whether to give her resources to the baby.

In the modern world, the process of growing up is slower than before. People feel much longer, and despite the fact that over 24 in Russian maternity hospitals are recorded as “old-timers”, this does not mean at all that after 24 the body is really too old for childbirth. Moreover, in Western countries, if a girl comes to give birth when she is not yet 28, she will be asked several times if she is sure, because she is still very young!

The most important thing is that a child should be desired, at whatever age this desire appears. Virtually no external circumstances will prevent a woman from giving birth to a child, if she really wants it, no matter what time this desire comes to her.

In modern society, the stereotype that a woman is the keeper of the family hearth, and her main mission on earth is to procreate, is gradually being forgotten. Nowadays, girls care more about their careers than about their families and children. This allows them to earn their own capital and not depend on men. And yet many people wonder why a woman does not want to have children.

There is no need to condemn a woman for not having a desire to have offspring, because modern ladies have many reasons for this. The birth and upbringing of a baby is a kind of feat that requires daily moral and physical efforts. It is hard to babysit a child, but it is even more difficult to raise a good and decent person out of him. This problem is especially relevant in our time, when, in addition to parents, children have many dubious authorities.

Therefore, the fear or unwillingness to give birth to a baby can be called quite natural. And yet, let's try to understand the issue in more detail.

Why a woman does not want to have children: the most common reasons

1. Absence of a worthy man

Even 50 years ago, girls did not “sort out” grooms as much as modern educated young ladies. They jumped out to marry for love, and after some time they were bitterly disappointed. In the meantime, a child was born who prevented the mother from breaking off an unhealthy relationship. In most of these cases, it turned into flour.

Modern girls calculate everything in advance. They want to see a reliable and loving person nearby. Many live in a civil marriage and are in no hurry to go to the registry office. This indicates only one thing - the woman is not sure of her chosen one. Having a man does not mean having a potential father for joint children.

2. Bad example of parents

Often girls who grew up without a father or saw his bad attitude towards their mother are afraid to create their own family so as not to step on the same rake. They do not see anything good in family life, so they prefer lonely freedom. It is natural for a daughter to repeat the fate of her mother, because she imitates her on a subconscious level. But realizing this with a sober mind, women avoid. And only a real loving man can prove to such a girl that family life can turn out quite differently.

3. Material need

Nowadays, women understand that a child is a luxury. In infancy, he will need expensive diapers, then - interesting and beautiful toys, and even later - school supplies and beautiful clothes. It is already difficult to imagine modern schoolchildren without phones, tablets and computers. And all this requires serious money. A woman thinks about whether she can pull the family if her husband suddenly leaves her and does not help the child in any way. Poor children grow up disadvantaged and insecure. How should a mother look at this?

4. Bad health

Many girls are now prevented from becoming mothers by certain chronic pathologies. After all, the state of today's youth leaves much to be desired. Doctors strongly advise some women not to give birth so as not to endanger their own lives. Naturally, in this case, every sane girl is forced to abandon the implementation of the maternal instinct.

5. Career focus

Many business women do not have time to plan a child, because they direct all their efforts to the development of their personality and. Constant rivalry with men, work from morning to night - it's great exhausting nerves. You have to choose - family or self-realization. More and more women achieve success in their youth, and having plunged headlong into work, they simply forget about their personal lives.

6. Fear of losing freedom

Some emancipated girls see the birth of a baby as an automatic end to normal life. You will have to forget about parties and nightclubs, and in return the woman will get sleepless nights and shattered nerves. It is much easier to take care of yourself and live as you want.

7. Lack of maternal instinct

About 10% of the fairer sex are completely devoid of maternal instinct. Such a woman does not want children. This should be treated as an innate feature, and not condemned. After all, not wanting to have a baby is not a crime. This is a woman's personal choice. Each person is capable of being useful to society in other ways. Agree, it is much better to strive for the ideal yourself than to raise an unworthy person.

8. Selfishness

There are also girls who are used to living only for themselves. Perhaps they were spoiled as children. Or is it just . Such women do not want to waste their time and energy on someone else. They believe that the world revolves around them. They are horrified by the fact that the love and attention of others can switch to the baby. Well, their decision not to have children is perfectly reasonable. It's better to live for yourself than to become a bad mother.

If a woman does not want children yet, do not rush her. Only serious and psychologically mature people can consciously plan children. A child is a huge responsibility, and both parents should be ready for it.

Boys play with cars, girls play as daughters-mothers, and when they grow up, they acquire what they dreamed about in childhood. The French say that the first child is the last doll. But what if you've never been interested in dolls?

You, like boys, played with cars. Or instead of baby dolls, you had Barbie beauties who clean feathers in deck chairs and have fun at parties, but do not feed a screaming child at all and do not change his diapers. The value of role-playing games cannot be underestimated. With their help, we master the world, fitting ourselves into it. If the desire to try on the role of a mother did not arise at the age of five, is it any wonder that it does not come even at thirty?

Wanting a child is natural. This is how nature intended. But it's okay not to want a baby. After all, we are not only natural beings, but also social ones. Above the basic instincts - self-preservation or procreation - we have so much stuff on top that sometimes they are unable to reach out to consciousness. You build a life, and the result completely satisfies you. There is no feeling that someone or something is missing in it. And since everything is there, why change something? You never know where these changes will lead you. Will it suddenly get worse? And is it possible to want something that you have never tried? Sea urchin caviar, for example. You haven’t eaten it before, so you don’t feel longing for it. You didn’t try on the role of mother either - you didn’t play with dolls, didn’t sit with your younger brothers and sisters, didn’t babysit your nephews, so you can’t know for sure whether it’s yours or not. By the way, the Chinese, in order to reduce the birth rate, obliged their citizens to have only one child, after 20-30 years they were faced with the fact that these only children who grew up without brothers and sisters do not want their own babies at all. Because they had no experience of caring for a baby in the parental family.

contraceptive setting

Appetite, as you know, comes with eating. And the need for motherhood too. Previously, nature did not need to enlist our desire to have a child. Because if we choose the right moment, we can last up to a hundred years. And it doesn't work for her! That's why instincts make us want not so much children as sex. After all, before, if there was a pregnancy, there was no longer much choice - to give birth or not to give birth.

With the advent of contraceptives, systemic failures occurred in this scheme. The initiative has passed to us. We are free to choose the perfect time, to wait for the desire to have a child to come. But the trouble is that desire does not come to everyone and the moment is not always right. In addition, if you protect yourself from pregnancy all your conscious life, its denial takes root in the subconscious deeper than you can imagine. There is a persistent contraceptive attitude, erasing the desire to become a mother. You listen to yourself, but you don’t feel any need for a child and decide that you are not yet ripe for this. And time is running out.

“I think that if a woman doesn’t want a child by 30, then most likely she won’t want one,” Anyuta says. - The farther, the less you want, because with age the character loses its elasticity. You become less patient, you get used to freedom. If you don't want to, maybe you don't have to. Not everyone can be moms! But if the question of why there is no such desire does not give rest, then there is still a need for a baby. Even if at the level of feeling that without children, it may be easier, but not quite right. It's good that it came to me in time. I gave birth to a child without the call of instinct, at my own peril and risk. Partly for show, to “shoot back”, and partly out of curiosity, to see what happens from my husband and I genetic mixture. I was not torn apart by maternal hunger, but I do not regret at all that I did not wait until I want to become a mother. The instinct never awakened. A sense of duty and conscious love has awakened, which arises after you recognize a person and put strength into him. You can madly want children, but be a bad mother. Or vice versa."

MEMORY GIRL
The desire to have children visits any of us at the end of puberty. But it is so instinctive that it is quickly forgotten if it is not realized. And by 25, you already believe that you “never wanted a child.”

nature trap

One of my acquaintances unexpectedly experienced an acute need to become a mother after practice in the orphanage. I fell, as psychologists say, into the prolactin trap. Prolactin is a pituitary hormone that awakens the parental instinct. This is a time bomb laid by nature under the foundation of indifference to the children's theme. As long as you keep a safe distance from shopping for new mothers, parks where they walk with strollers, sandboxes and playgrounds, prolactin does not remind you of anything. Because there is no reason! But one has only to press a warm, sleepy, pink baby (one's own or someone else's) to the chest, smelling of milk and baby powder, as the mother's hormone begins to be intensively produced in the body, stunned by surprise. Sometimes in such quantity that nulliparous girls even have milk! For some, it’s enough just to wander into the department where they sell rompers and undershirts for this biological timer to work.

But the most powerful release of prolactin occurs during pregnancy and especially during childbirth. That is why surrogate mothers, who have agreed to be incubators for someone else's baby, suddenly become imbued with irrational love for him. And for no amount of millions do they agree to give the child they initially did not want to biological parents. And for those, too, the parental hormone is raging with might and main, while they watch the surrogate mother and inflame themselves with preparations for the birth of the crumbs. Do you want to want a baby? Get close to the pregnant woman!

“Girlfriends, as if by agreement, go pregnant,” says 27-year-old Albina. - There are five of them! Maybe this is a herd feeling, but even I, who did not plan anything like this, suddenly wanted to join their company. I looked at the rounded tummies, walked with each of them around the Children's World and realized that I wanted the same thing. And before there was no such desire. Honestly!"

Coincidence

People sometimes don't want to have children because for some reason they can't. They inspire themselves with this reluctance, because not wanting is still better than not being able. The most obvious is physical incapacity. A friend tells everyone that she doesn’t want to “get involved with this.” And then it suddenly turns out that she, it turns out, has been treated for infertility for more than a year. There is no result, so she convinces herself and others that it didn’t hurt, and it was necessary. It’s easier without a child: you don’t have to go on maternity leave, drop out of life, the figure will not float. So that's great!

Someone understands that they will not pull the child financially. They just want children ... But they consider themselves unworthy ("with such and such a salary!") To become parents. And postpone the birth of a child until later. And when they achieve career success and financial well-being, they simply burn out, losing their craving for motherhood. Thirty-year-old anhedonia — a loss of interest in everything that is really worth living for — is a common phenomenon, especially in big cities. You just need to shake it up. To have a break. Remember why all these races with obstacles up the career ladder were started. Consider the design of the nursery, choose wallpaper for it, look after the crib. Any step in this direction is a way to awaken the instincts you have suppressed.

Some anxious and suspicious persons start to panic at the mere thought of children. The child will be completely dependent on me. What if I do something wrong and he gets sick? If I drop it, will he break something?

Or maybe you don't want a baby because the wrong man is next to you. You don’t admit it to yourself, but you feel with your spinal cord that the appearance of a third person will not strengthen your union, but, on the contrary, will only complicate everything. “As I understand now, at one time I didn’t want children, because I didn’t trust my husband and was ashamed of the hypothetical fate of a single mother in advance,” recalls Stasya. “For the most part, I was right. Although after a conversation with a psychologist (“since he brought you here, it means it’s important for him”), she decided. And the husband ran away as soon as the baby's teeth began to cut: children's cries prevented him from sleeping. And when I met my man, the desire to give birth arose almost immediately. I took this feeling as a guarantee that everything will be fine with us. And I was not mistaken!

NO HORMONES
Prolactin has antipodal hormones - adrenaline, cortisol and testosterone. They keep you constantly ready to fight, give strength and courage ... But they reduce femininity. The adrenal glands of zealous careerists constantly release these “no-hormones” into the bloodstream. So if you're worried about the lack of basic instinct, stop. Sadly, but a break in the career race will have to be done. At least not for long.

I don't want to be like mom!

If you didn’t have a relationship with your mother, then not wanting to have a child is a continuation of the child’s rebellion: “I don’t want to be like her!” Psychologists call this a violation of parental self-identification. It can also relate to the relationship with the father: he left the family, left you, little one, it hurt, and you don’t want your baby to experience the same pain. But in fact, more than anything in the world, you need to walk this path again with your child, rewriting your own childhood along the way, correcting in it what hurt you so much and still haunts you.

“I’m soon 27, married for 7 years, no children, because in all this time we have never tried to start them,” says Natasha. We protect ourselves like spies. We both can't stand these little, screaming, always demanding creatures. I want to live for my own pleasure, not everyone has children, there are so many interesting things in life ... Take my mother. She was a promising pianist, but she gave birth to me, putting an end to her musical career. So what? Dad left when I was not yet a year old. Mom started all over again with another man. But without children. Even without me. I grew up with my grandparents, I saw my mother only on Saturdays. Once a month. So why did she give birth to me? As a child, I was terribly worried that she was not around, I felt that I was preventing her from enjoying life, that I was not worthy of her love. And I'm not going to repeat her mistakes. And to friends who stutter about children, I always answer: “You need it - you give birth, but leave us alone! We do not like children and we are not going to cripple them with our dislike!

Behind the facade of the child-free slogan, there is always some kind of story. People do not want to transmit their childhood pain to generations. You can't do without a psychologist! As, however, in most cases, when the parental instinct refuses to remind of itself.

Wanting children is the norm of life, the idea of ​​\u200b\u200bnature. But gradually you get used to your reluctance - and it’s already somehow embarrassing to refuse it, to awaken parental feelings in yourself: you will have to explain to everyone around why you didn’t want to, but gave birth. So don't back yourself into a corner! From love to hate, as you know, one step. And from the reluctance to have a child to the desire to give birth to him at all costs - too. You will see!

SLAVIC CROSS
In the era of perestroika, no one wanted to have children - it was just scary: criminal lawlessness, total shortages (diapers and milk disappeared from stores, and the most necessary medicines from maternity hospitals), the sexual revolution and mass unemployment. Under such conditions, the instinct of self-preservation prevailed over the instinct of procreation. Workaholism was considered the main virtue, and it completely ousted all thoughts of children and maternity leave from the brains. As a result, in 1991 we received a "Slavic cross": the birth rate curve intersected with the death rate curve and continued to fall. The current 20-year-olds are just those who, in spite of everything, managed to be born at the intersection of the “cross”. It is clear that for many of them maternal instinct is not so unconditional phenomenon.

Irina Kovaleva
TAMARA SCHLESINGER

Popular

Any woman sooner or later realizes that she wants children, since all representatives of the weaker sex are born in order to raise children, because motherhood was originally laid down. Of course, if pregnancy is desired, then it brings a lot of happiness and joyful emotions to the family.

But, as a rule, only women want children, but if we talk about men, then they mature for a very long time for this. The main reason why women want to have a baby is to create a family and strengthen ties between a man and a woman. After all, more than once I had to watch how women try to return a man to the family with their pregnancy. But all this is completely in vain.

Below are the reasons why a woman wants to get pregnant. They may seem strange to some, but in fact they are true and it is for these reasons that women want to have a baby.

Feel the power

Some people want a child just to feel power over someone, increasing their self-esteem due to the fact that you managed to teach a child something. Over time, parents begin to demand something more from the child in order to praise themselves for such a good upbringing.

Thanks to the child, a woman wants to increase her self-esteem - because the birth and upbringing of a child is the main purpose of a woman. Many women consider the period of gestation and the birth of a child a real feat.

Many women do wrong, as they give birth to a child only in order to survive a new stage in life and gain new experience.

In fact, it is very difficult for children to live in such families, and this indicates the unwillingness of parents to raise a child. Therefore, before planning the birth of a baby, you need to be sure that you are ready for this.

Bind your spouse or feel the need

As mentioned above, in this way you cannot bind a person to yourself. Even if you give birth to a child, but if the partner does not have any feelings for you, the child will not stop him and he will leave the family. If necessary, he will simply see the child and reproach you for growing up without a father.

But sometimes women manage to keep a man in this way, but, as a rule, after a while everything returns to normal, and the man still leaves.

Also, sometimes a situation happens with women when everyone turns away from them and they feel that no one needs them. In this case, the woman decides to give birth to a child in order to become necessary to someone. But such situations are not entirely favorable for the born child, as a rule, either he grows up in excessive custody or, conversely, the mother often swears at him.

Public opinion

Some women want to give birth to a child, because it is customary, because it is necessary to continue the race, otherwise then she will become old and will not be able to give birth. Men in such cases often do not share the position of a woman, as they are not ready for the birth of a child. In fact, they are doing the right thing, because you should not conform to someone's stereotypes, you need to want and be ready for the birth of a child. A man has to convince a woman in many ways that they are not ready for the birth of a child, and it will take time to prepare for this. You need to understand that this is a living person who needs constant care, and not every person can cope with this.

Some women who want to have a child start from religious backgrounds. After all, according to church laws, a woman should give birth and raise children. Indeed, many churches are against contraception during sexual intercourse, as they believe that a woman should give birth and give birth to many children.

Opinion of relatives

Very often, girls want to give birth to a child only because relatives demand it from her, who undertake to help and teach young parents everything. However, in reality, everything turns out differently, grandmothers often do not have enough time and only their parents have to sit with the child, who, in principle, were not ready for his birth.

In fact, you should not listen to your relatives, because you have your own head on your shoulders and it is up to you to decide when to give birth to a child. If grandmothers want to babysit their grandchildren, then let them wait until potential parents mature for this. Parents should come to the realization that they are ready to give birth to a child. Before planning, you need to take into account the opinions of both spouses.

Hope for support

All people tend to grow old, and therefore many women think about their old age, and want to give birth to a child as soon as possible, who could take care of them in old age. But if children are born for this purpose, then most often the parents get the opposite effect.

In addition, some girls want to give birth before the age of thirty, so as not to look old when the child grows up. But there are correct points of view in this reason, because there are many cases when children were embarrassed by their parents because of their age. Although, parents are not chosen. But there is adequate and truthful information in this. After thirty years it is very difficult to give birth, and therefore it is better to do it before this age. But before the birth of a child, you need to thoroughly prepare for this, so as not to complicate life, neither for him, nor for yourself, nor for your spouse.

Choosing the gender of the child

More than once there was such a situation when a woman wants to give birth to a girl, but the first child is born a boy. And then many, by all means, give birth to children, seeking a girl. This is the wrong step, and it doesn’t matter what gender the newborn baby will be - people often offend their children with this. Children should be born only by mutual consent of the spouse, without selfish goals, just at will.

But if a woman gives birth to a child, and her husband does not want it, this is called selfishness, she does well only for herself, because this is a common child - therefore, both parents should be involved in planning. If a man is not ready for the birth of a baby, he needs to be prepared for this and give weighty arguments why right now you need to have a baby.

More recently, it was simply unthinkable to say out loud that children and family are not the main purpose of a woman. But now some girls openly admit that they do not want to give birth. How to perceive such statements and how to resist the pressure of others if you consider yourself a childfree? The expert speaks.

Lucia Suleymanova, clinical psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences

Childfree is a person who has chosen the absence of children as a life principle. And this is not just the life position of a few "strange" people. If 30 years ago such girls would not have dared to tell the truth in a society that lives by different laws, today it has become possible. It must be borne in mind that they are not at all aggressive towards their opponents. Their position is quite calm: "We do not want to have children, but you can do as you like."

Of course, recently on the pages of social networks there are more and more battles between those who find their calling in motherhood and those who see themselves on the other side of the barricades. The reason for the fight is clear. I do not want to make any moral assessments, because they are inappropriate and it will be wrong. But, of course, in these kinds of situations, it is a conversation of people who speak different languages.

Nevertheless, you need to understand that not wanting to have children is normal. A person has the right to manage his life as he sees fit, as his interests and goals suggest him. Such people allowed themselves to speak the truth, honestly and responsibly. To admit that you do not want, are not able, are afraid, do not consider it important to have a child is, in a sense, courageous. It is important to understand that everyone decides this question for himself. But do not confuse the conscious decision to become a childfree and simply childlessness.

Why do people choose not to have children?

To understand why people make certain decisions that determine their whole life, you need to turn to the true values ​​​​of a person. Of course, if this value is "sewn" inside you - a child, then if you do not realize yourself as a mother, you will experience, perhaps even suffer. Now imagine that you have completely different values. It happens because we are all very different. Giving up the desire to have a child can be dictated by religious service, the desire to realize higher values: helping people, volunteering, doing charity work or devoting oneself to art, science, a career. That is, such a person will feel that he has a different mission, and the child is secondary to the main goal.

There are cases that illustrate "growth problems". Such people do not want to have children because they have not yet played enough, traveled enough, had fun, but with this light-hearted attitude to life, they turned out to be responsible enough to admit that giving birth “in company” with their peers is dishonest and wrong. For this type of people, everything can change. New life circumstances, a different job, a different environment, even a change in climate can awaken parental instincts.

It happens that children from large families become convinced childfree. I mean really large families, where, for example, ten children or more. It seems that they "worked out" their parental instincts in childhood. Another option is when the childfree position is used to cover up their own fears. Fear of getting pregnant, getting fat, suffering - in a word, risking yourself for another life. You have probably heard more than once how mothers say that they are ready to risk literally everything for the sake of their child. And they are ready to endure pain and inconvenience for the sake of a new life. So imagine that there are those who are not ready.

Of course, the reasons why a person becomes a childfree are always inside. But the diversity of opportunities that culture provides has also had an impact. Today, there are many more options for how to realize yourself. Women make a career, make serious decisions, manage large processes.

What to do if you do not want children, but others are putting pressure on you

First of all, I want to address those who put pressure on the childless. In Russia, this is not only mom, dad, beloved granny and best friend, but in general any person. Old acquaintances, classmates, colleagues - everyone believes that they have the right to ask if you have children. When they hear “no”, they always ask another question: “What do you think about it, time is running out?” To all these people, I want to say: the harder you push, the stronger the resistance will be. In fact, by talking about a child, you are cultivating the seeds of childfree.

If you are a “victim” of your relatives and you are bombarded with such talk at every family dinner, the worst thing you can do is show aggression. Excuses, anger will only give ground for discussion of this issue. Behind your back, all the sympathizers will sort out your supposed experiences and fears to the bone. So the first rule is not to get angry or make excuses.

As in any other good deed, the best improvisation is the one prepared in advance. And you have to be ready to defend. The first option is avoiding the answer. Think of any common phrases from those that are written in statuses in social networks and on T-shirts. For example: "Everything has its time", "I'm not ready yet."

The second option is the "top" position. This is a strong position. It suggests answers that clearly indicate that the situation is under your control. A phrase like “I haven’t been made an offer I can’t refuse yet” or any other that sounds confident will do.

Another, rather mild option is the “amortization” of the conflict. Don't argue, don't get angry, don't offer to those who will evoke a lively response. For example, the phrase "I decided to make a career first" will give rise to an argument that can easily last several hours. Start saying something neutral, quickly shifting the conversation to your interlocutors. Ask when they wanted a child, how they realized that this was their man, how they cope, in the end. In a word, remember that everyone loves to talk about themselves, and take advantage of this.

If we are talking about colleagues, former classmates, any unfamiliar people, you can use the tactics of "soft attack". But keep in mind that relations after this may cool somewhat. Answer the question about marriage and children honestly. And, without waiting for the next round, start your interrogation: “Is your husband handsome?”, “Does he earn a lot?”, “Does he help around the house?” In a word, let me understand that marriage itself is such an acquisition.

With colleagues for whom you have respect and whom you do not want to embarrass, you can act softer. Be sincere and compliment: "If I had your charm, I might already be married."

If heavy artillery in the form of the female half of relatives does not react in any way to your arguments and continues to go on the offensive, you can stop this enthusiasm with the help of fictitious phobias. Open the Internet and choose some prettier. For example, the fear of gaining weight or the fear of pregnancy and childbirth - tocophobia. If it comes to phobias, an important rule: as many incomprehensible words and unfamiliar text as possible. Your interlocutor should not have any chance to give advice or continue to carry on the conversation.

Another rather radical variant of behavior is to find fault with the word. "When are you going to have a baby?" - people around ask. “You can get a kitten,” you say and “jump” to something new. After a while, it will be embarrassing to return to the original topic of the conversation.

Well, don't forget about jokes - they work in many situations. Jokes should be a heap. Prepare them ahead of time. “I just know what contraception is!”, “I’m afraid the children will prevent me from going to the bar on Fridays.”

In general, the rules are as follows: treat the process as a game. Do it easily and with a good mood.

Why society seeks to convert childfree to their faith

Let's get back to values. Those who ask you about a child believe that a woman's calling is to give birth and raise a child. They really can't understand why you don't think so. Therefore, they explain this fact to themselves by some problems that, in their opinion, need to be addressed. About aggression: childfree is based on hedonism - pleasure as the goal of life. People who have come to this understanding of the world, as a rule, are harmonious and calm. Which, by the way, can not be said about some representatives of the clan "mommies". Please don't think that I am judging anyone. Just hormonally and physically raising a child is a completely different story. This is not a game of "what is good, what is bad." We are different. It is important to remember about mutual respect: in public places, in personal conversations, in any difficult situations. Today, childfree people easily express their beliefs. They are still condemned, but 30 years ago, even to say that you do not even think about a child was a problem.